Bad Day

i uh, got beating from my 'mother' yesterday just because of one stupid karangan[malay essay]
just because i wrote a crappy essay doesnt mean i'll write it in my PMR essay right?
some people are DARN stupid.
i wrotre it that crappy cause i didnt have time.
and i didnt have time because i was playing like shit.
not my fault right?
so i had to rush!

argh!
i want, no, NEED someone to FREAKING understand my situation here.
got three tight slaps, and was pinched on the cheek and was pushed till i hit my head on the cupboard.
later, my 'mother' went into my room to take all my books away.
in order for her NOT to check my stuff,
i had to tell her where it is.
she took it and she saw a book called,

The Spook's Curse.

she started saying that she's cursed to have a child like me
i yelled and screamed at my sister
at the end of the day,
we all went to bed in tears..
yay! thats how we went to bed last night!!!

whooo...... ==

Bored

going to 1u tomorrow.
i mean it beats staying at home and get scolded for no reason.
i can play

Hey There Delilah

yay!!! ==
not much to say,
but i wish that the FUCKIBNG GAY
will stop RUINING my GODDAMN life!

its worst then ever and here he is
RUINING IT AGAIN!

may God BRING HIM TO HELL!!!

>D

Is Everything Around Me A lie?

yeah, today is Friday the 13th.
my LUCKY day.
but for other people its unlucky...
i decided to go to school today...
huiling kept on asking me to say sorry to marissa
choices..

one is to say sorry and hope things will get better
the other is to
stay like this forever

i chose to say sorry even if i dont really mean it

SHHH!!! dont tell her! =x
now, im on a look out for my goddamn stupid letter.. o.o

nothing to post, really.
not considering to open my blog yet.

Should I Ignore You or Should I Confront You?

choices..
they mean alot ant yet they are a trap
oh god, i dont know what to do..

ignore or confront?

argh!
even i cant help my damn self!

hann told me that i like to show my anger off in public
kitee told me i pissed her off by repeatin hanns number
what else?

oh right,
tons of people gossips behind my back
now i know i cant trust ANY of them..
i mean ANY!

whats life without friends?
im going to try that now,

note to self,
when you go to school,
dont smile
laugh
or talk unless necessary

Whats The Point Of:

-> making friends
when you know you'll lose more than you make

-> smiling
when you know perfectly well youre unhappy

-> cleaning your room
when you know you will mess it up again

-> crying
when you know they will hurt you over and over again

-> trusting people
when they CANT be trusted

-> eating
whe you know your going to be hungry again

-> making your bed
when you know your going to mess it up at night

-> having babies
when they are nothing but a nuisance to you

-> having a phone
when you know no one is going to call you or text you

-> being alive
when you know live is not worth living

-> being happy
when you know your going to be sad

-> having boyfriends/girlfriends
when you know you'll break up with them

-> studying
when you know you're going to fail in your exams

-> going to school
when you know you'll go there and play instead of studying

-> healing your heart
when you know someone will break it again

-> having a sister/brother
when you know youre going to fight with her

-> having a best friend
when you know it WONT last

-> brushing your teeth
when you know its going to get dirty again

-> having a mirror
when you know everytime you look at it, you'll feel ugly

-> writing your feelings down
when you know people will just ignore it

what is the point of sleeping

when you know you'll have nightmares

no matter how much you try to prevent it?

dont have to act infront of me

like my title said, you dont have to act infront me.
go on say what you wanna say.
i can handle it

this few days,
i cant help myself
and i can help other the people?
wtf?! ==

when i cant help myself,
how can other people help me?
or rather they wanna hear my feelings and go BLABING them out.
hahaha....
i cant even trust my parents.
i just recovered from being depressed a week ago
and now you are tryin to make me feel depressed..
hahahahaa... some friend you are...
why dont you just stab me in the heart and get over with it?
dont you ever act infront of me.
dont. and i mean it..
i have nothing to say
either im disgusted at you or im to depressed.,
either way....

hey, i wonder why dont you just write down my name?
instead of shooting words infront of my face?
go on, tell the whole world who are you writing about!
i dare you

heavy heart

yeaahhh... after going to some one's blog,
i have a heavy feeling in my heart which add to my miserable life..
no marissa i dont need any comment from you
i know what are you gonna say

''chillax la kim, life's like this. if life isnt hard, whats the meaning of life? i have been through so many things and all i have to do is to face it. i know your going through a hard time but it will past, trust me. dont keep on sayin you hate your life. God gave you life for a purpose. not because he wants to see you suffer."

i think thats it. or maybe more......
i dunno. maybe i wont tell anyone my stuff and let me contain it all in my heart.
my mom is blamed for no reason and so much things has gone through
if you dont want to be my friend.
im fine with that
go on if we arent friends,
i hope you tell jeremy and let him spread it.
i hope you spread it and i'll become every1's number 1 list of hate
i hope your happy right now.

you dont know how hard it is.
its bad enough to lose a friend.
but its worst to lose yr best friend.
im not sure... im not sure if...
nevermind
the thing is
you wouldnt know how lonely i felt now a days.
ahhah ahhah ahhah
i made a mistake of going to yr blog..

leave me alone,

get out of my face...

Remembering the Reprodution in Rhymes

for the sperms to go to the eggs

all the lady has to do is to open her legs

as it flows along to fluid

the sperms and the eggs finally meet

before the sperm start their journies

they are first produce in the testes

found inside the sac called the scrotum

male sex hormones are called the testerone

the male first have to find a lady to fuck

then will the sperm go through the sperm duct

it transports the sprems produced to the uethra

and before you know it, the lady's screaming: ahh, ahh

the sperms goes through the uthera without glacing back

the sperms in his body, he will lack

into the vagina the sperms will be forced

and this happens during sex intercourse

the sperms will find their match

before you know it, the egg will hatch

if your mama knows you lost your virginity

get your self ready

for you're gonna face your fate

so for now, just masterbate

-MOOruKOO-

(muruku)

5 MARCH 09

the red is the starting

brown is the ending

a message to ZZZ [even though its wastin my time but i hav alot of time to waste]

ok, let me start sayin this.
i know who the hell you are.. dont think that i dont know.
because of you, i dont tell marissa stuff anymore.
because of you, i have second thoughts about her.
because of you, i dont think me and marissa are close anymore.
dont you know how hard it is for me to try and stop it.
stop wastin your time comin to my blog,
knowin how many horrible things i write about you [i admit ok?]
im tryin to say this as nice as i can and not swearin my ass off [oops, i think i juz sweared >D]
i try and try and try to not let people like you RUIN my life but i think i failed.
go ahead, call me a loser
call me a failure
call me anything you like
but dont say that i cant be trusted..
that story you told edward?
yeahh.. its a lie.. ==

the one that you told me that you like huiling and huiyee?
you told edward that you were TESTIN YOUR TRUST IN ME?
yeah, that one.
dont blame on edward.
hes trying to make things right, but hes wrong.
ok, stop changin the subject.
you told edward that your testin your trust in me
such lies you told him
such lies you told everyone.
such terrible terrible lies.
i hope you burn in hell [if there is such place]
i maybe anything else,
but im not the kind that spread people's secret
unless ofcourse you make me VERY pissed..

you know what?
i think your mission is going to complete
the more you provoke me
the more second thoughts i have towards marissa
i hope you'll be there for her when she and i arent friends
instead of trying to please ashley
come on, dont think i dont know your tryin to impress ashley
im not dumb.
i observe.
go ahead.
call me a sohai bitch..
i dont mind, its just words.. rite?

so many things are in my mind and your tryin to make my life miserable
go ahead.
yr doing a VERY good job
i bet your SOOOOO proud of yourself..
give yourself a huge round of applause..
i have wasted enough time writin a shitty letter to you
in the end, i swear/cursed.
thats me.
if you cant stand me,
why dont you come face to face and tell me off?
or what? youre scared i'll tell YOU off???
i shall not write anymore.
goodbye and i hope you trip and fall and break your gay head